what??? I have a blog?

Oh my goodness.... almost 8 months have gone by. Need to decide if this blog is going to live or not. :)

Since Gee was born, I haven't spent much time mourning Kate. I'm sitting here trying to decide how I feel about that. I guess right now it's just a fact...

Other facts:

I am a working out of the house mom, who was home for the first 7.5 months of my son's life. I think that if i had staying home longer I would have had to make some changes in Gee's demandingness. But since i get some breaks from the clinging now, I haven't made him get used to a little less mama time.

Gee still nurses to sleep for naps and bed time. I'd be ok with this if it as just nursing to sleep. But right now he's nursing 4-6 times at night too and often wants to stay attached for LONG periods of time. I am his human pacifier. I had just started working towards less night nursing when he got sick. He's back in day care today after being out for ~9 days (including 2 weekends).

Sometimes even during the day Gee wants to nurse every 30-60 minutes. This is getting to be too much for me.

I feel like this mama dog i saw once at a farm. Her puppies were getting big (~7 weeks) and she was tired of being attached to them all of the time. She could jump out of the part of the barn where the pups were, but they couldn't get out. When she'd go into check on them, they'd all try to nurse and would try to get her attention. After she knew they were all ok, she'd jump out of the enclosure to 'escape' the toddler pups because all mamas need a break from their toddler nurslings... Even though the babies still think they want their mamas ALL OF THE TIME.

Ok... babbling... time to 'do' something else. Laundry... baking... picking up... something for "me" in my 3-4 hours of remaining child free time.

So my 'old' blog has been shut down for quite awhile. It just wasn't where I was anymore. Or maybe the raw emotions I knew it held were too much??

I've tried Facebook some, but I'm not really getting it. I think it is too strange of an overlap of people in my life... G's daycare teacher, high school friends, mama friends... I don't know, it feels too hard to be honest in the way I'm used to online.

I created this site 6 months ago, but somehow didn't end up writing. We'll see what happens this time. I guess part of the problem was that I couldn't figure out what voice I wanted to use here. I don't want this to be a Gee only blog, but there likely won't be as much Kate discussion as my old site.

Hmmm... who is my audience? do i care who reads? is this a good blog name???

And the real question in my life is WHEN will my toddler stop having diarrhea?

Welcome!

Mother to two, raising one....

That's the short story.